So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
