Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
