I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You brought string cheese to the strip club
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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