you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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