No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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