how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The air was thick with penises
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
