You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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