This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
