IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
