OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
