I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize