Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're like the curious george of whores
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize