Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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