I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
