I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
