She said her name was "party"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize