Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
