So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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