It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
