More tranny stories later!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
