He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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