then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
