Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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