I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
