We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
