if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
