I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
