Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
