i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
