I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize