Dual....:-)
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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