she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
