Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
