..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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