Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
