They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
