clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Who died my cat blue again?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
