You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
