He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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