after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
