remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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