she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
