I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
