FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
