whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
did i just pee glitter
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
