i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
