Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
