Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
