i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
