there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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