I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A bitchslap is in order.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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