i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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