Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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