I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
