Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
