Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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