We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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