also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
