is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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