So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
