Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, beer. Big fan.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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